The Encounter.

Encounter.
"An unexpected experience to be faced with; an unexpected meeting."


This encounter would change my life forever.


But first I must preface. . . this story may be indirect due to the fact that my heart or intent is not to offend anyone who may have crossed paths with me in my times of distress. I simply desire to proclaim the Almighty power of Jesus Christ!


My life began beautifully. I was raised in a wonderful family. Blessings flow into our lives that we do not deserve. We go to church every Sunday and pray before meals. As a child, this was the life.
What more could I want? A family to love and provide for me, a church to visit on Sundays, a private Christian school, enough to sustain me for the rest of my life. . . so why did I need anything more? I lived my life this way for quite some time. I was comfortable.


My eighth grade year, my world turned upside down. Fighting with my parents seemed to be the least of my worries, and counseling ensured my family that I wasn't losing my mind. Little did they know. . .
At thirteen years old, I became a statistic.
Fighting depression, my innocence was savagely taken from me. Call it what you'd like. At thirteen, my pure heart was stolen. Stolen by a man, yet I know his real name-his name was Satan. Through the lies and the pain, my heart was deceived. I entered in one of the darkest places of my life, a place many people don't know I experienced. This was my encounter of death. 
Sin entered the world centuries ago, and I became a victim of the evilness. Like a thief, purity was snatched from my heart. This moment of helplessness marked my life for the next three and a half years.


In the madness of high school, I placed my hope in many things of this world. Satan would often feed me the lies, "You "let" him take from you once, why not again? You've tried this before. . . why does it matter? You are worthless to anything holy." My life became a train wreck of spiritual warfare.


However, God is the Great Pursuer! Even in deliberate disobedience to His word, the Lord sent the beauty of Him to me in moments. I encountered things of God multiple times. Some call this a "spiritual high". . . nothing more than mere emotion towards the Lord. 
One moment I will never forget was in my sophomore year in Jamaica-my first mission trip. My youth minister, Matt, the first true Follower of Jesus I had ever encountered, once told me, "God is going to do something BIG with your life, Maddie. I just know it."
I thought, "Hold on. . . What?! Me? I don't follow the Lord! Not fully. Does he understand the life of sin I lead?" But when I looked into Matt's eyes, I knew. Certainty swept across my soul, and I wanted it. I desired the beauty I saw in His face-an unquestionable radience-Our Lord Jesus Christ! 
I clung to this hopeful revelation, never to forget it. However, this emotion would not satisfy because it was not near the extent of God's plan for His sons (and daughters)-to know Him deeply.

Almost two years passed by, living a life of disobedience and faithlessness. But something was stirring. . . 
Nevertheless, disobedience continued to reigned supreme. 


"God will never reveal more truth about Himself until you have obeyed what you know already." -Oswald Chambers


Just as circumstances began turning around-faint hope in the distance, life came crashing down as I knew it. 


December 15th, 2009. 
Until this day, my closest friends and family knew nothing of me but what the surface would share. My heart, I kept tucked away from anything familiar-fearing my depraved soul would be revealed.
This day, two faithful friends sat me down at Starbucks, and simply asked me about my past. They approached me, in love and concern, with "rumors" they heard. The truth. . . they were right. Sin controlled me.
Lies spilled from my mouth. . . until I could not lie anymore. This was breaking point. 
With tears and sorrow, truth overflowed from my lips. This was the first true, profound, authentic moment of my life. And then. . . they left.
I departed that coffee shop lower then I had ever been. The people who loved me most, knew. The secrets of my heart were unveiled. This was my encounter of honesty. 
As I laid in my bed, screaming out to God, I felt nothing. Only Satan himself encountered me, once again. Alone, the darkness surrounded me as I cried myself to sleep.


December 16th, 2009
English final right before Christmas break. How I dreaded the thought of facing my friends-the truth. I trudged into school, merely for the fact that I could not skip. I had given no thought to this final, or what I would write. But at this point, an english test was the last thing on my mind. 
If I could only fathom this next encounter. . .


The bell rings. Tests are distributed. Essay style.
The prompt reads, "Who has influenced your life?"
Just before I roll my eyes in aggravation, it hits me-like a brick wall. . . Satan.


This was my creative essay. . . God's final pursuit of my heart. The moment my life changed forever.

[[The narrow path winds between the massive woods. A gravel road separates the thick forest from swallowing an exhausted traveler, attempting to arrive at his location. Tonight, the path is empty. The black sky consumes every glimpse of light-of hope. Tonight, I walk alone.


I aggressively kick the gravel rocks below my feet in aggravation. I stare down at the path refusing to glance up in shame. Although no one is near me as I stride up the forest path, the darkness screams to me, "Why did you? Did you not know my sinful trap? One sip. . . you are pathetic." My shameful blue eyes water, but I resist the breakdown.


The shadows haunt me as the trees sway above me-looking down on me. My chin fights to look forward into the dark woods. . . still alone. I hear his horrifying voice again, "Darling, you know you may never take it back. A spot of black I now instill in your heart forever-you can't escape. Are you not strong enough to resist," he spits towards me. "He does not love you-he lied to you my dear! He never loved you. . ." The taunting truth shatters my soul. . . he is right.


The darkness no longer only surrounds me because it is well past midnight on the cool path, but I allow the black to consume my every thought-every feeling. Sin chokes me. Sin consumes me. I attempt to scream in pain-pain of my shattered soul- but not a sound will arise from my decrepit body. I collapse into the ridges of the gravel, tearing through my weak skin as tears stream down my flushed cheeks. The whispers from the Evil One continue. . . and I listen. I soak in every remark, comment, truth. What am I worth? Nothing. 


My mistakes overtake my shredded heart. The forest seems to close in on me as I lie on the moist ground. "You are a failure. You are stupid. You are weak. You are alone. . ." the voice continues, and the silence assures his honesty.


Hands over my flooded face while I sprawl out on the gravel path, I glimpse a light in front of my faded vision from beneath the crevices of my shaking fingers. Still in denial, I refuse to lift my heavy head-the burden too strong. I hear a voice, a new voice-full of power and hope. "My dear, you are beautiful and in Me alone you may know truth. I am yours, and with Me you shall have peace. Now, look up to Me." I stall for a moment-confused and frightened. Slowly, I glance upward.
The light vanishes. Nothing but a small book lies beside my curled knees-a familiar book. I open the cover. Engraved in gold I read, "My beautiful creation, cherish Me this time. Let go of the lies, because you are Mine and I love you. Hold to My Truth, and the Truth shall set you free."


A new stream of tears-full of joy and absolute truth-flow from the corners of my pure blue eyes. . . grace. An overwhelming amount of grace-a grace I do not deserve-yet I obtain it. I rise easily-the burden vanished. I breathe confidently as I take my first new step of purpose. Finally, in strength, I raise my chin and gaze upward. . . now free from the dark clouds, the magnificent sky paints an infinite amount of stars to guide my way home.]]



My life was never the same. God used an English final to bring about genuine repentance and joy! I did not have any direction as I scribbled words on a torn piece of wide-ruled paper. This was completely inspired by the Holy Spirit in me! This was my freedom. This was my encounter with the Living God. 


It's been one year, and what a year its been. Full of joy, pain, trials, lessons learned, knowledge, truth, and love-more love than I ever imagined possible. God is love. He is the Pursuer. He will fight for us, you and I alike, and build circumstance around our hearts until we cannot reject Him any longer. He doesn't want us to be comfortable. . . His will is that we live a radical life of love for Him! We are part of a Kingdom-the captivating Kingdom of God! So, I will praise the Lord forever because He redeemed my soul. His radiant light pierced my spirit and filled me with Himself. And I am just one minuscule part of the beautiful body of Christ!
Daily, I carry my cross. It is a fight. . . but its worth the blood we must shed for His name. He is the reason I live. 
And the beauty, it is only the beginning. . . 
There will come a day I have my final encounter. I will see my glorious Maker, face to face, as fall on my knees in awe of His power that I have only tasted.
Praise be to God in heaven, forever and ever. Amen!


Ephesians 2:1-6
"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus."


Grace and Peace be with you. 
Our God reigns.